# Community Standards Wusoup is a small, **high-trust** chat community for friendship and meaningful connection. Its mission: to be an [[About/Mission|internet refuge]]. Wusoup's community standards are **strictly enforced**. They're here to protect an unusual level of **trust**, **openness**, and **meaningful connection**. These standards won't be to everyone's taste, and *that's okay* - Wusoup isn't trying to appeal to everyone, and isn't afraid to challenge its community to embody [[About/Mission|its mission]]. If you're here in good faith, you probably don't need to worry. Connect sincerely, be kind, make an effort, and you'll be fine. If you're here for dating, sexual content, spam, abuse, fakery, or lazy copy-paste messages, this isn't the place. > [!summary] Quick version (tldr) > > - **Adults only:** you must be at least **19 years old** to use Wusoup. > - **No dating or sexual content:** Wusoup is **NOT** a dating site, and dating content **will get you banned**. > - **Be kind and respectful:** no aggressive, hateful, degrading, threatening, or creepy behaviour. > - **Be real:** be yourself or be anonymous, but don't lie about who you are. No spam, bots, fake accounts, or multiple accounts. > - **No political content on profiles:** this is a place to connect, not pick a fight. > - **Make an effort:** generic, zero-effort messages and profiles are unwelcome here. > > The account and anti-abuse standards below also cover solicitation, other platforms, personal details, disposable email, and karma/kudos gaming. Wusoup's standards are enforced by me ([[About/Development Story|Peter]]), an auto moderator (automod), and most importantly be **the community itself** through [[Usage/Reputation#Community ratings|ratings]] and [[Usage/Reputation#Reporting users|reports]]. The point isn't to define an exact punishment for each misstep: context matters, and good faith is taken seriously. Deliberate abuse, dating/sexual content, spam, deception, and repeated bad behaviour may lead to warnings, suspension, or banning. > [!info]- Don't like these standards? > > Wusoup is an experiment to see if it's possible to create a **safe space free of toxicity** and of the exhausting crap so common on and off the internet everywhere today. > > It's a place intended for a **niche audience** aligned with [[About/Mission|a very specific mission]]. The mission *won't appeal* to everyone, and _that's okay_! There are a million other communities *without* such strict standards. > > If you don't want a taco, you don't go to a taco stand 😊 > > So an appeal to you: if you aren't 100% on board with what Wusoup's about, **please respect the members of this community** and let them have their space - there's _so few_ places like this for them to go. > > Thank you!! 🙏 > > \- Peter Taoussanis ([[About/Development Story|"The Wusoup guy"]]) ## Core standards ### Adults only ^age You must be at least **19 years old**. I know this sucks, but there's no exceptions - sorry!! 🙏 > [!example]- Motivation and details > > There are *many* communities that allow younger folks, but this is unfortunately **not** one of them. Wusoup is strictly for **adults 19 and over ONLY**. > > I know this seems arbitrary or unfair, and I really (sincerely) am sorry about the restriction. But this community is a [[About/Development Story|1-person operation]] and allowing younger folks on here would mean safety/legal risks and moderation needs that I honestly just can't afford. Allowing any children would put the whole community at risk. > > If you are under 19, please **do not attempt to join** - you **will be banned**. ### No dating or sexual content ^dating No flirting, sexting, hookups or nudes. Wusoup is **NOT** a dating site and dating content **WILL** get you banned. This isn't Tinder. Wusoup is a refuge for those of us that want something *different*. Wusoup has a **no tolerance** policy against **ANY** kind of sexual or dating content, including "harmless flirting", and engaging in dating/sexual talk **initiated by others**! Your **relationship status** and **sexual orientation** are not relevant for your profile!! Including this info makes it look like you're trying to skirt this standard, so it will just lead to your account getting flagged. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > There's nothing inherently wrong with dating or sexual content, but: > > - When you allow even a *little* dating or sexual content, **all interactions** get dragged in that direction. You attract a very particular kind of crowd, everyone's on the look-out for ulterior motives, and *all* other kinds of connection get trampled. > > - There are already **innumerable** other communities for that stuff! > > Wusoup's goal is fundamentally different. It aims to be a place: > > - Clean and safe for humans of *all kinds* to connect **without ulterior motives**. > - To learn about each others' lives, beliefs, and dreams. > - To build understanding and **bridge differences**, to find inspiration, to share joy. > > This is NOT a community for dating, and it's NOT one of the innumerable bullshit dating apps that claim to be "not for dating" and then go on to promote dating at every turn. > > Dating content **will get you banned**, and members are **actively encouraged** to report folks breaking this standard. Members actually **earn karma** by helping keep the community clean. > > All of the following are **strictly prohibited**: > > - Flirting, and sexual comments or compliments. No, you're not "just being friendly". > - Asking for nudes, hookups, or sexting - *even if the other person initiated*! > - Any profile content that'd typically be found on a dating app, including "single" tags, tags about your sexual orientation or preferences, suggestive photographs or text content, mirror/topless/duckface selfies, etc. You're more than your relationship status, sexual identity, or figure - focus on all the *other* stuff that makes you you! > > But isn't this stifling? THOUGHT POLICE ANYONE!? > > So here's the thing: drawing precise lines in the sand is actually really difficult. Wusoup's mission isn't to squash freedom of expression. > > But let's face reality: if you try to allow a "little bit of flirting", there's going to be an army of assholes that try to push the line and ruin the space for everyone. > > So the deal is - *this stuff just isn't allowed here*. Is that a bit stifling? **Yes**, and that's okay. It's a conscious trade-off to help prevent Wusoup from degenerating into yet another internet cesspool. > > Not everyone will be on board with this, and **that's okay**. Wusoup isn't for them, but the other 12 of us looking for respite from the "hEY bby u so beutiful mmm". > > Hah! But what about nude art? WHY DO YOU HATE ART!? > > Look, the Wusoup community is ultimately in control of what is and isn't allowed. Everyone here is an adult, and can use common sense to judge what is and isn't in line with the intentions behind this standard. > > Just beware that if you're trying to skirt the line, there's a good chance you end up tripping over it and getting banned. People aren't stupid, they can tell the difference between someone being genuine, and a troll trying to justify their nonsense. ### Be kind and respectful ^kind No aggressive, hateful, degrading, threatening, or creepy behaviour. Wusoup is a place to learn about each other, to connect, and to **offer kindness**. **Respectful disagreement** is totally okay (even encouraged), but please **be courteous**. Most people are doing their best to negotiate a complex world, and ultimately have **good intentions**. We start with respect here. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > You will meet people on Wusoup different from you, and with **different opinions**. That's part of the idea! This isn't meant to be an echo chamber. > > Feel free to disagree with folks here, and to talk things out. That's constructive, even when it's difficult. Just **be respectful**. Insulting people, threatening them, or swearing at them - that's *not okay*. > > We will not judge nor condemn one another. It's okay to believe that someone's *completely* wrong about something important, but be nice. We challenge ourselves to reach beyond our bubbles and preconceptions. To **pursue understanding** and to try **build bridges** in good faith and **with patience** and **self-reflection**. > > We accept that real life is complex, and issues often more nuanced than they first seem. We may be wrong about things that we feel sure about. We may change our minds. That's part of life, and it's okay (even commendable). **Talking helps us figure things out**. > > If a conversation with someone has become consistently unconstructive (contrast: uncomfortable) and you really can't see any way to build a bridge - consider [[Usage/Reputation#When to downvote|downvoting]], [[Usage/Blocking|blocking]], or [[Usage/Reputation#Reporting users|reporting]] them if appropriate, then *move on* - don't take the bait and let things turn hateful! > > Even if you believe that someone is *obviously wrong* about something important - will it convince them to turn to insults or condemnation? Or is that likely to cause them to double-down? > > People are weird, and we can be emotional about the things we believe. Changing minds often takes both exposure to new ideas *and time*. Maybe your discussion planted a seed. Don't undo that for the temporary satisfaction of slinging insults! > > So please start by **assuming good faith** and by **offering respect**. You won't always be rewarded for doing that, but my hope is that you may be rewarded more often than you expect. And wouldn't that be a worthwhile surprise? ### No political content on profiles ^politics This is a place to connect, not pick a fight. Share your hobbies and dreams, not your political team's labels. Every damn thing has to be politicized lately - it's exhausting and divisive. So Wusoup doesn't allow political content _on profiles_. Feel free to discuss politics in messages, just keep it [[#^kind|respectful]]. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > Political labels offer no context or nuance, and tend to just act as rage bait - causing people to close up, and make assumptions about who you are and what you believe. > > That's **exclusionary**, and counter to the intention of this community: to **embrace differences of opinion**, to connect with each other on a human level, and to challenge ourselves to look **beyond our presumptions and prejudices**. > > You're more than your labels. Lead with that stuff. > > Wusoup intentionally encourages connections between *unexpected people*: people from different places, with different life experiences, with different values or world views. > > This community is **not** intended to be a monoculture, it's intended to be **a rich cross-section of people** - in all their complexity, contradictions, and imperfection! We're all a little nuts in our own way. > > This is a place to **tolerate differences**, including notably **differences of opinion**. > > In everyday life we don't walk around with labels above our heads - "relationship status X", "sexual orientation Y", "religion Z", "political affiliation Q", whatever. > > That's not natural, and it's not healthy! People are *more* than 2-dimensional labels, and trying to squeeze them into labelled echo chambers **creates perverse incentives and outcomes** - both personally, and for society. > > Just because someone's a Democrat or Republican or Intergalactic Toad, doesn't inherently mean they're evil/stupid/smelly. If we stop talking to each other, and stop seeing each other as human - *where does that lead*? > > We can choose to see only the worst in those around us, or those different from us. Or we can choose to see the **fundamental commonalities in everyone**, existing for a blink on this little speck of dust floating around in space. > > Wusoup believes that the vast majority of people are **trying their best** and generally have good intentions. And even when it seems like they believe something insane, that's not a reason to tell them to shut up or to try shut them out. That's the time to bring them in for a cup of tea, and to **try learn about and understand each other**. > > Yes, this is difficult. And that's also why it's **worth doing**. Wusoup trusts its members to **see the value in this**. > > We need to keep talking, and we need to **decide** to look for the common humanity in others. The alternative is *not good*. ### Be real ^real Be yourself or be anonymous, but don't lie about who you are. Wusoup is a place **to be genuine**. Please **don't pretend to be someone you're not**. Use of bots or AI *will* get you banned. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > Genuine connection demands **sincerity**, so be yourself or be anonymous - but don't lead people to believe that you're someone that you're not. > > People here are asked to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, a rare and fragile opportunity worth nurturing! > > So please no pretending to be other members, celebrities (parody or not), or AI-generated folks. If you want to roleplay, please make that *super* clear. ### Make an effort ^effort Respect the community's time. Generic, zero-effort messages and profiles are unwelcome here. Lazy, low-effort content wastes everyone's time, and doesn't enable the kind of **meaningful connection** that Wusoup is about. This place isn't a *distraction* from life, it's an opportunity for the kind of increasingly rare connection that **makes life better**. Users are expected to **put in some effort** by: - Setting up a **proper profile**, and writing at least a little about themselves. - Avoiding 3-word or generic copy-paste/AI messages. "hi" or "m/f?" isn't an invitation to connect, it's a red flag that you've found yourself in the wrong place. Low-effort participation will usually get you [[Usage/Reputation#When to downvote|downvoted]] rather than banned. It becomes more serious when it crosses into spam, harassment, fake/AI karma farming, or another deliberate attempt to game the community. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > What's wrong with just saying "hi"? Unfortunately it takes **zero effort** which means: > > 1. The recipient can't tell if you've even **read their profile** (and frankly, they'll assume you haven't if the best thing you can think to say is "hi"). > 2. The recipient can't tell if you're just spamming 200 different users with the same generic message. > 3. You're putting ALL the onus on the recipient to actually **start a conversation**! Now the recipient needs to think of something to say, otherwise we end up with the infamous: "hi", "hi", \<silence> exchange ^^ > > Wusoup is a community for folks that aren't afraid to spend a few minutes **reading a profile** before writing. And that aren't afraid to **use their words**! > > You don't need to be a poet, but if you're hoping to actually connect with another human - it helps to show that you're sincere about that by taking a moment to really _see_ people and to compose a greeting that recognises their unique presence. > [!info] More info > - [[Usage/Messaging#How to start great chats|How to start great chats]] > - [[Usage/Your Profile#How to create a great profile|How to create a great profile]] > - [[Usage/Reputation#When to downvote|How downvoting works]] ## Account and anti-abuse standards ### Don't spam or solicit ^spam This is **not a place to market, sell, or solicit**. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > This is a place for real people to connect, not do guerrilla marketing. > > So please: no trying to find a job/client, ask for donations, or promote your Instagram, YouTube channel, or cryptocurrency/NFT. > > **If** you've established a relationship with someone and it happens as **a natural part of getting to know each other** - then feel free to share links to other platforms, social media accounts, and projects / channels / products of yours. > > But beware: if your motive is actually to fish for channel followers or money and you're chatting to people under pretence - most folks won't fall for that kind of BS. You're not being clever, you're being an asshole - and you're going to get banned. This isn't the place for "guerrilla marketing", please take it elsewhere. ### Don't pressure people onto other platforms or for personal details ^pressure People are here because they *want* to be here, and they share the details they *want* to share. Don't pressure people to move to Instagram, Snap, WhatsApp, Telegram, or anywhere else. Don't pressure people to share details they aren't comfortable sharing. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > If folks wanted to be on Instagram, Snap, or anywhere else - that's where they'd be. > > These kinds of solicitations are almost always a transparent attempt to get around other standards, so they're seen as scammy, spammy, or pushy. > > If someone's hidden their age, gender, or location - it's because they wanted it hidden. Sending someone "m/f?" is no more than spam. > > **If** you've established a relationship with someone and it happens as **a natural part of getting to know each other** - then feel free to share links to other platforms. > > But beware that this is an easy way to [[Usage/Reputation#Reporting users|get reported]] if you're making people uncomfortable. ### Don't create multiple accounts ^accounts Multiple accounts will be interpreted as spam, or an attempt to circumvent a ban. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > If you think that something may be wrong with your account, please [[About/Contact|contact me]] to ask! Trying to "fix" the problem yourself by creating another account is a quick way to get all your accounts **permanently banned**. ### Don't use disposable email addresses ^email Disposable email addresses will be interpreted as spam, or an attempt to circumvent a ban. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > Disposable email addresses are used almost exclusively by spam or trash accounts, and are often used by folks trying to circumvent a ban (not allowed) or to create multiple accounts (not allowed). > > Even when not ill-intentioned, these accounts don't see message notifications so tend to just go dormant and waste everyone's time. > > So Wusoup will **regularly verify email address ownership**, and any accounts failing (re)verification will be suspended to prevent abuse and noise. ### No fake karma farming ^karma Sending fake/spammy/AI messages to try to game Wusoup's [[Usage/Karma|karma]] or [[Usage/Kudos|kudos]] systems isn't allowed. Gaming will be auto-detected, and the resulting karma/kudos cancelled. Repeated attempts may lead to banning. > [!example]- Motivation and details > > Wusoup's about *authenticity*, and trying to game its systems for fake internet points is not in keeping with the spirit of the site. It also spoils the fun! > > When you see kudos on someone else's profile, isn't it nice to know that they're real - and took time and effort to earn?